The secret is masturbating
The possibilities are endless, standing in front of the vibrator section in one of the many sex-shops of Amsterdam. Reminiscent of the Toys ‘R’ Us, but for adults only. There’s something for everyone, and I really mean everyone. From small and comfortable to “unable to walk the following day'' big. Thankfully, the saleswoman is kind enough to help vibrator-virgin me out a little.
I’m immediately distracted when I learn that I’m not the only one in the store. “Maybe she’ll love this? It’s kinky, right?” echoes a heavy male voice. Holy shit. My mouth nearly dropped to the floor when I turned around. I’m not kidding, it might’ve fitted the super-size. Trust me, this is most definitely NOT the place where you want to run into your ex and his best friend. "This one is very suitable for beginners. Used a lot by women without partners,'' said the saleswoman who clearly didn't sense the tension in the room. Instantly, my face turned a shade of red tomatoes would envy. Can I dig a hole in the ground?
I giggle and before I can process what I’m doing I say, “Oh my, what a coincidence, what’re you doing here?” Stupid question. I’m not even remotely interested. The boy I once called the love of my life stood before me, mouth agape. “For his girlfriend’s birthday,” says the asshole next to him, “and you?” What a dick. I never liked him. “Uh-Uhm… A girlfriend is turning thirty. You know what they say right ‘dirty-thirty’,” I managed to force a laugh. Yes, nailed it, Lola! Clearly, this victory cheer was too soon. “Wait, who?” Fuck. That’s right, I shared several years of my life with him. How could I forget? “Rose, but you wouldn’t know. Someone I met after you!” I pop out. Without even waiting for an answer, I quickly add “Well, it was so nice to see you, but I’m busy so I need to go!” I rush towards the door, giving a quick nod to thank the saleswoman, who's already moved on to dust off the assortment of nipple clamps in the meantime. I tried to push open the door which clearly had the word “pull” written on it. Classic, Lola. Agitated and without purchase, I’m sitting on the couch at home shortly after. He may have ruined my mood, but I won’t let him ruin my libido. Within minutes, I made my purchase on the internet. “Next day delivery” reads the quote on their site. Great.
“Wow, your skin has such a natural-glow. Did you change your skin-care routine?” my friend asks during dinner two days later. “No, the secret is masturbating,” I respond, sipping my white wine. Her mouth drops open. Maybe not enough to fit the super-size, but hey, now I know there are several options.
