Squirting: breaking the myth
Some view this as the ultimate proof of their skills, getting their partner to squirt. But it’s suspiciously difficult to find any accounts on whether squirting even adds to the pleasure, and if it does, what is it even supposed to feel like?
Speed course on the phenomenon that is called squirting: during the female ejaculation the vulva emits liquid, this is called squirting. For some this is just a few drops of liquid and for others it’s a true fountain. Anyone who reads this and thinks the fountain is the only ‘normal’ way: don’t get your panties in a bunch. The crazy geyser sprays you so often see in porno’s are often fake, accomplished by putting water in their vagina before filming.
Okay, but does it mean?
We must preface this by saying that not nearly enough research has been done on squirting and the female ejaculation (not enough research on female pleasure? Groundbreaking). According to a small research in 2015, the liquid consists of a combination of prostate-specific antigens and urine. You read that right, urine. However, the topic needs to be researched more in order to fully back that statement up. It has to do with the g-spot, about three centimeters past the entrance of the vagina, connected to the back of the clitoris and the urethra. It’s a bump you can only feel when aroused. It can bring great pleasure if you put your fingers in your vagina and stimulate your g-spot by making a ‘come here’ motion.
Squirting happens when you release your pelvic muscles, this is why people describe the feeling as ‘peeing your pants’. We’re so used to clenching the muscles of our pelvic floor to keep ourselves from peeing, that it’s pretty amazing to be able to relax those muscles at all. You have to feel pretty comfortable to be able to do that. This brings us back to the main question. Why do we need to be able to squirt? Does it make our orgasms more intense? Or do we do it to make our partner happy?
The strange thing is, people who squirt often feel insecure about it, because it ends up being quite the mess and it generally doesn’t help enjoy the orgasm more. Squirting every time you have sex can be pretty annoying. On the other hand, women who really want to be able to do it, but can’t, feel insecure as well. Because squirting is thought to be the same as completely and utterly unraveling for your partner, to be so aroused that you can orgasm ‘fountaining’ about.
“But it actually doesn’t mean anything of the sort”, emphasizes sexologist Eveline Stallaart. “Especially (cis) men view squirting as this ultimate proof of orgasming, because it’s something you can see happen. But it hasn’t been proven to actually coalesce with orgasming at all. So, it’s great if you and your partner found something new and exciting to discover, but it shouldn’t ruin the sex if it’s not in the cards for you.”
These days it seems sex needs to have some kind of purpose
Stallaart can’t answer the question of why some people squirt and others can’t. “A lot needs to coincide for squirting to happen. It’s not something that’s learned through practice. The pressure to squirt alone is extremely dysfunctional. Some can and others can’t, simple as that. These days it seems like sex always needs to have some kind of purpose: penetration, orgasming, squirting. While the best sex happens when you’re just doing whatever feels good together and see what happens. That’s the most relaxing way of having sex and relaxation leads to that kind of amazing unraveling.” With other words, squirting? Doesn’t need to be on that bucket list.