Five women and their ogasms

One likes to moan softly, whereas the other prefers to scream at the top of their lungs. What do you compare your orgasm to and does the experience improve as the years pass by?

Hannah (26)

Research has shown that the feeling of an orgasm is comparable to that relieving feeling of sneezing. That’s unfortunate, because I loathe the feeling of sneezing. An orgasm, however, I don’t mind. I did have to do some exploring throughout the years. I have noticed that I consider my own wishes and needs more, instead of just focussing on the needs of my partner and his orgasm, like I used to do. An orgasm is reminiscent of labor (well, excluding the pain of course). It takes effort and time to get there and it does require some focus. This feeling isn’t always comfortable or pleasurable. At a certain point, you feel that you’re nearing the finish line. Your body builds up tension and then it’s over. The moment is short and fleeting, but powerful nonetheless. Fortunately, the feeling is better than sneezing. 

Mieke (45)

I still remember what my first orgasm felt like. I was 18. The sensation that went through my lower body was completely unexpected and fierce. The experience was pretty intense and I was a bit confused for a while. I did know it was worth trying again. Up until that point, I had been trying to reach an orgasm for over a year, but until that moment I hadn’t managed to reach it yet. Nowadays, my orgasms are way more varied. Not only in the ways I reach an orgasm, but also the intensity can vary greatly. The time of the month plays a role, my own “state of mind”, and how I’m stimulated. Orgasms through means of penetration are very intense even more so if I reach my climax simultaneously with my partner. It can feel immensely intimate. Reaching an orgasm through oral sex or by stimulating the clitoris can feel very different as well - particularly by how aroused I am. Personally, I’m not too big of a fan of toys. To sum it up, throughout the years my orgasms have become richer and more varied, both in intensity and how I reach the climax. I want to add that you can have fun in bed without an orgasm, it’s definitely not a must for me. You get to know more about your body as you age, that definitely helps!

“From that moment on I was able to reach a climax - sometimes up to four times a night.”

Claire (47)

I compare my orgasm to a popping water balloon. It can contain a lot of water, but if you add too much water it pops. I was already twenty when I reached my first orgasm. Movies portrayed having an orgasm as something magical, but for some reason I was never able to reach it. At the time, it wasn’t that socially acceptable to ask my friends, so I bought a book at the bookstore and read it secretly underneath the covers. I was ashamed of the fact that I couldn’t reach it, but that book truly helped me. Ever since, I was able to reach a climax - at times up to four times a night. Of course, my relationship plays a part. In all our time together, we got to know each other through and through. But I have to say, the orgasms I have as a forty-year-old woman are a lot more intense than the orgasms I had when I was in my twenties. It probably has to do with confidence and true commitment. If you don’t commit and surrender yourself 100%, you won’t experience - as far as I’m concerned - an orgasm at 100%. 

Isa (23)

I was eighteen, the first time I had sex. I can’t say my first time was accompanied by an orgasm. Of course, through some experimentation, I had learned that certain actions made me feel tingly down there, but I wasn’t actively thinking about it until I got my first boyfriend when I was eighteen. How would I describe my orgasm? It feels like being held underwater in a pool for too long by your annoying older brother and you - when he finally releases you - come to the surface and finally gasp for air. Props to my boyfriend, he gave me the best orgasms ever. Now, three years later, we have separated, but I have to say, I can’t complain about the orgasms I reach on my own. In most cases, it’s the penetration itself that makes me come faster rather than the man himself. It wasn’t until last summer that I found out it’s quite “special” to reach a climax just from penetration. Makes me enjoy it all the more.

Sophie (27)

To me, an orgasm feels like a cold shower after a hot sauna. Your entire body is sluggish in search of coolness. If you douse yourself in a bucket of ice-cold water, you don’t only feel refreshed, but a tingle surges throughout your entire body. The orgasms I have now are way more intense than the first couple of times. Practice does indeed make perfect. When a friend told me it was possible to climax again - in a matter of 2 to 3 minutes - a whole new world opened up for me. Because, is there something more pleasurable than that? 

Reaching a climax is wonderful, but it’s not something for every woman (every time). About 20% of women reach an orgasm every time during sex. So, there is nothing wrong with not reaching a climax. Even without an orgasm, there are plenty of other fun things to enjoy with your partner. Do you experience a lack of orgasms as a problem? Then it may be helpful to consult a sexuologist.