How to introduce sex toys into the bedroom

Vibrators, love eggs or cock rings; when talking about toys that could help push (or vibrate) your sex life to the next level, the choices are endless. But lots of people still struggle with how to best introduce a toy to their partner. It appears that people are scared of offending their partner by accidentally implying that their sexual prowess may be lacking in some way, shape or form (literally). According to Eveline there’s nothing to worry about. 

Barbie

“With all the daily stimuli and all the quick gratification of the things we see on screen, it becomes harder and harder to get aroused. But a vibrator might just do the trick. However, there’s still such a huge taboo surrounding the use of sex toys. It’s apparently something we should be embarrassed of, and it all comes back to, well, genitals. The use of toys seems to exemplify the fact that our genitals generally don’t look like what we see in pornography. The Barbie kind makes us feel embarrassed by the way our vagina’s look and makes us want to not give it the attention it so deserves. And penises are not much better off; in porn they often look so large that you might think they’re gonna start a full on sword fight instead of having sex. It basically makes us so insecure that it pushes us to disregard our own sexual needs. Especially women who have a high libido and know what they like are still wrongly labeled as a ‘slut’ by society and the media. This leads to a lot of us trying to push away our own fantasies - like the use of sex toys - and maintaining the taboos regarding female sexual needs.” - explains Eveline.

‘Only 20% to 30% of women orgasm through penetration’

Which is a true shame, because it means that 80% don’t, says Eveline. “Sex toys add a whole new level to your sex life. Believe me, your partner will love the excitement surrounding sex toys. You can’t really go wrong with them. The way you introduce the toy, however, is quite important. Try to emphasize that your partner’s not doing anything wrong, but that you want to introduce the toy to spice things up. I also always recommend couples to go (online) shopping for toys together, that makes it a little less intimidating. Have you never used a toy before? Try a beginner’s model. Discuss what you like together and what you expect from the toy. Do you prefer penetration, anal penetration or would you rather focus on the clitoris and labia? Penetration can be great, but lots of people don’t realise that only 20% of women orgasm through penetration and that nerve endings run from the clitoris through the labia.”

Do you and your partner struggle to discuss topics about the bedroom and do they often end up with you guys fighting? Maybe it’ll help to check out our 10 tips on how to better discuss sex. Even something as simple as using lube - with or without a vibrator - can add extra intensity, is Eveline’s tip. “But only use this option if you’re actually aroused. Your body is trying to send the signal that you’re not aroused enough if you’re not wet. Lube is not meant to make you wet, just wetter.”

By the way, not all toys are made for people with vagina’s. There are also toys for people with penises. Of course there’s a male equivalent to the dildo aka the male masturbator, but there’s also a plethora of cock rings, prostate massagers and butt plugs to choose from. There are even multifunctional toys you can share with your partner. 

Win-win

Are you fully convinced and have you gotten your hands on a brand new sex toy? Then let’s start (s)exploring! You can take your time doing this together or alone. Would you prefer having the vibrations directly on your clitoris, or is that a little overstimulating for you and would you rather have the vibrations a little above the clitoris, for example? You can take your time figuring all these things out. How about using a toy to stimulate the penis? Anything is possible as long as you guys take your time and communicate. Take our word for it when we tell you that when your partner sees you having a good time, they will enjoy it just as much. Now, that’s what we call a win-win situation.